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Freezing again pressing
Red shoes-the sound of
Šěre mjezwočo přez dróhi
Zynk piča wodowych z
Kapace wodowe pjeńki
A beauty wife with her beauty man father a
Laying down they implode to a core of
In their time of
there’s a hole in your head
A grey face walking
The sound of drinking water-likes
Out of plasticity
Dropping water-courts of
Written in 2003 while feeling the loss and temporary death of a life-draft. The way of ending up something; complicated, un-contradicted and silent.
Mato, April 2004
08.07.06 - 03:59:38
2003, this seems quite long ago, but things have changed again, fortunately.
In 2004 I wrote, that these lyrics reflect a loss and temporary death of a life-draft. By now I think, it was a real temporary loss. Originally I had problems with my ex-partner, the prison that I got to know in this relationship was opened and I was unable to really open it. So I wrote these lyrics.
Like nearly all of my lyrics these are now understandable as a process of self-healing for me. In these days I walked through Greifswald, in the north of Eastern Germany, and circled in my thoughts. Every day was cold. And I saw a relationship melt down, blinded by my circling and unable to really talk about it. I froze memories and pictures by just swallowing them. This red shoes in the lyrics are, maybe related to the picture in “Feeded”, again Tom Waits, you know, this “red shoes”- song?
Then sorbian lyrics in the middle. Very sad lyrics. I think, the eastern culture is sad very often. At least, the slav one. In the beginng I wrote, that I reflected a temporary loss. A temporary loss of a draft. The draft of a family-life. I think, kids are very smart and very much into influence. This is the nature of chilchood in a way. Kids depend on their environment. And get to know culture through the language. My mother-tongue is the sorbian one. And I had really problems in confronting myself with other cultures. The german one, for example.
All the holes, in which the mother-culture was poured were closed in the moment in which I started studying medicine in “Germany” - Greifswald or maybe earlier. I was and I am on the way to re-open them. Just to get by.
Mato, SH, July 2006
08.07.06 - 05:07:56